I was unsure of how to title this, but I think Nighttime Routine will work. Sylvia and I have this routine we do each night. Now, each night is not exactly the same but there are four things we say to each other each night, besides the “I love you” we say to each other. On a good night, we are both home and in bed around 9:30. We will lay in bed and cuddle. We talk about our day and what we have for the next day. Sometimes we are tired and just lay there. I might rub her back for a bit. I always have her scratch my back and if she isn’t home to do it, my back seems even more itchy! Right before we turn out the lights one us will start with one of our four sayings that we say each night. Each of us ends up saying each of these sayings. They are “I will see you in the morning. I will see you in the middle of the night. I am here if you need me. I hope you can sleep.” We don’t say them in any particular order, but we always say them. Even if I go to bed before Sylvia, because she worked late and has more work to do on the computer. She will come over and give me a kiss and we say these four things.
Now, my gall bladder issues really tested the “I will be here if you need me”, because I did need Sylvia MANY nights until my gall bladder was removed. We have added to this saying. Now we say, “I am here if you need me, but I hope that you don’t”. I then say, “but if you do, please wake me up”, because she helped me SO much when I was in pain before the doctors figured out it was my gall bladder.She also adds “but I hope you don’t” when she says “I am here if you need me.”
This may sound silly to you all, but I love that we do this every night. We really try hard to cuddle each night, but sometimes life gets in the way. We try hard not to let it, but having our routine.
It only took FOUR ER visits this week and one ambulance ride, but we found out it was my gall bladder that was causing my pain. Sylvia took me to the ER early on Monday morning (1:00 am) and was told I had kidney stones. WE came home and I took the day off. I set up a urology appointment and went to work on Tuesday. I was doing OK on Wednesday, but then started feeling bad around 3:00 pm. Sylvia took me to a different ER on Tuesday night. After two hours and a CT scan I was told it wasn’t kidney stones and to go home. My stepmom took me back to the same hospital around 4 AM and was told the same thing and was asked if I was a narcotic user. My stepmom chewed them out, they gave me pain meds and sent me home. Sylvia took me to my primary care doctor who thought it might be a gynecological issue or a gastro issue. We visited a urologist who confirmed it was not kidney stones and agreed with my primary care doctor. I got an appointment with my gynecologist and tried to tolerate the pain. Well Thursday night it was too much. My stepmom advised I call an ambulance and so we did. I arrived there and long story short, they ended up admitting me, doing more tests and figured out that my gall bladder LOOKED fine but was actually working at only 10%, This took all day to figure out and by 5:00 pm they were prepping me for surgery.
My mom came in to help Sylvia. Sylvia was exhausted from the ER trips and work. I got home yesterday and have been taking it easy. I’ll be out at least the next three days from work. The boys have been good and Sylvia has been awesome. I’ll be calling the second hospital tomorrow to file a complaint and work on making sure they know how much they messed up. It is a LONG story but the nurse was an ass and they did not take care of me.
After only a week in office, Trump has managed to irritate me beyond belief. If you are not a Trump supporter, then you know what I am talking about. The “Muslim ban” is the latest thing to have happened. I actually donated to the ACLU this weekend and plan on donating again next month. I wonder when he will come after the LGBT group, or people with disabilities, or any other group that doesn’t fit in with what he thinks is typical. If one more person tells me “to get over it” I may scream. I don’t have to get over it. This is a free country and I can have my opinion, even if you don’t like it. I don’t have anything eloquent to say, except I am already tired of HIM and his crap. Oh, my dad and I are talking, but not really. He says he has PROOF of child support so I asked to see it…..it has yet to appear. We shall see. I was willing to let it go, but he has pushed it that he has proof. All he had to say was, “I wish you would believe me, but you don’t. Let’s just put it behind us and move on”. However, he is like Trump in that he is going to keep saying HE IS RIGHT and YOU are WRONG, until I get tired of arguing…well that isn’t happening any more! Sorry for the rambling…tired and busy and not enough time to really collect my thoughts and write a meaningful post! Nite all!
Sylvia went with me to see my gynecologist today. I wanted her there to hear my options regarding my recent “female issues” that involved trips to the emergency room. This was our first trip to a doctor together that didn’t involve the emergency room. The doctor explained that I could try hormone replacement, but I am not having night sweats or any symptoms like that. I have not had the severe cramps since late October, so that is a good thing. My main issue is my HEAVY period when it does rear its ugly head. I feel like a teenage girl who never knows when it will arrive and how heavy will it be. I don’t mind having a period, but what I do mind is having an accident. It was really heavy last month and quite gross…..and that is all I am going to say. I don’t think you all want to hear the gory details. We did discuss a hysterectomy and we decided to wait on that unless something more serious occurs again. I may also consider ablation which would remove the lining of the uterus, which would stop my periods or greatly lessen them. We discussed all of these options and one more! The doctor has prescribed me a medicine to take when my period starts that will keep it from getting too heavy. As soon as my period starts I will take two pills three times a day until my period ends. We will start there and see how it goes. I should actually be on my period right now, but it hasn’t showed….YET! I do skip sometimes.
I think we have a good plan and I was glad that Sylvia was there to hear all the options and the pros and cons of each. I am happy that she took the time to be with me and want to be there. It means a lot to me and I want to be there for her as well. I am off until January 2nd and she is down to just a few students then she will be off. I am glad this appointment is behind us and we will move on and see what happens!
My father and I had managed to avoid discussing politics since Spring of last year. I know he is a Trump supporter and he knows he shouldn’t share politics with me. When same-sex marriage became legal I had to unfollow him on Facebook because of his rantings about the Supreme Court. I have forgiven him so many times through the years for what he said to me and for what he had done to our family when he divorced my mother. He never congratulated me on my wedding to Sylvia, and yet I tried to keep him in my life. He had called my younger sister to ask her opinion of my marriage, because again, he doesn’t support it. I cried everyday after Trump won, because I knew that I might “lose” my relationship with my father. My dad’s wife, my brother, my half brother and half sister, my dad’s sister (my aunt, of course) and several other members on that side of the family support Trump. I was already trying to make a plan in my head for Christmas. I would ask him to come to my house and see us, because I would not want to go and be up around everyone for fear when/if politics came up I would lose control of my mouth and there would be a horrible argument. Now I don’t even want to do that.
I posted my feelings about the election on Facebook. Nothing too bad. I was disappointed and I knew the holidays would be hard. Several friends responded and then my mom responded about me being a strong single mom until I met Sylvia and then something about how she could relate as a single mom and that she never got much child support. She later told me that she had responded to ONE person’s response and really thought no one else would see it, just the one person. Well someone saw it and told my dad. He then called my younger sister who doesn’t live close by and told her my mom had lied and he didn’t appreciate it. He then told her that he wasn’t calling me because he knew I was already upset with him. Well she gave him a lecture and a list of other things he had done. Of course, then I find out about it and I am not happy that he has upset my mother because she found out about it as well. I called him all upset to talk to him and he didn’t want to talk about it. I hung up on him and have blocked his phone number along with my step-mom’s number. Her sister tried to get involved and texted me and I told her to stay out of it.
On top of all of that, my brother called my mom to ask her to talk to me because HE voted for Trump and HE wanted me to know that Trump wasn’t going to try to change the law on same-sex marriage. My sister slipped and told me this. You know it is not just the law about same-sex marriage it is future laws that will allow business to discriminate against those in the LGBT community.
Needless to say, it has been a drama filled week. I am still not sure when or if I will speak to my dad again. He says he accepts me and Sylvia, but doesn’t approve of the lifestyle. He has also said that family shouldn’t have to apologize to family. I am trying to find peace in my heart so I can get through each day. How many times do I let my heart be broken by my father? I don’t know if I can take another heart break. It isn’t easy to know what to do.
The nurse from the gynecologist office called me yesterday with the results of my blood tests from two weeks ago. My thyroid is fine, but I am in early menopause! YEA! I guess this means I am not going crazy thinking my body is turning on me with cramps and such. The doctor had told me two weeks ago that I could be in early menopause, but she doubted it. However, she would still run the test and see! Well, I guess I am just lucky with the early arrival of menopause! The nurse asked if I would like to make an appointment to come in and discuss options since I have experienced some painful cramps. She said we could discuss hormone replacement or a hysterectomy. If I decide on surgery, it won’t be until the summer when I have more time off. I am going to talk with her about the hormone replacement and try that first. I have asked Sylvia to go with me. She thinks surgery is a bad idea, and I am not 100% sold on it either, but I am tired of having symptoms from my period each month. I don’t get the period every time, but I do suffer from symptoms. If the period does appear, it is for a day or so. I am hoping Sylvia will go with me so that she can hear everything first hand and ask any questions she has.
I am tired of not feeling well. I woke up yesterday morning with severe cramps, AGAIN. I had made it through the week with some minor cramping, but this was horrible. I spent most of the day in bed yesterday with a heating pad and taking ibuprofin. The tylenol with codeine that I took didn’t seem to help a bit. I did manage to sleep and woke up with no cramps this morning, but then they came back. By 11:30 am I was in awful pain. Sylvia had left for a few hours to work. I called the gynecologist and spoke to the doctor on call. She told me to take two of the tyelnol with codeine with 3 ibuprofin. I did that and it did help. I took more tylenol with codeine 4 hours later and then more ibuprofin 2 hours after that. I still have the cramps, but they are NOT bad at all. Of course, if I back off the meds, then they will come full force.
I will be calling the doctor when the office opens and making damn sure I get in there tomorrow. I just can’t keep doing this. I would just rather have her schedule surgery and take it all, if that is the true issue. Of course, the sonogram showed nothing and we are still waiting on the blood work results. The blood work at the ER showed no infection so that shouldn’t be the issue. I almost went to the ER today, but I don’t think they will do anything more than what they did before.
Sylvia doesn’t know what to do and worries so much. I really just want some answers and some ideas on what to do about this. UGH is all I have to say.
Sylvia and I have been married for four weeks tomorrow and one month on Sunday. I have used the word WIFE quite a few times in the last few weeks, but today I used it to help her with something. Two days ago she got gas at a local gas station and then her car started acting up after she stopped at the grocery store. She took it to a local repair shop and I picked her up. They suspected bad gas but couldn’t diagnose it and suggested she have the dealership repair shop look at it. She has a 2014 Honda, so it isn’t an old car. After lots of issues with the towing company it finally made it to the dealership that night. The dealership called after a few hours and suspected bad gas as well. They said it would be ready the next day, which is today. From the very beginning she had issues with the tow company that the Honda warranty people had set up….then she had issues with the repair technician returning her calls. She had handled it all very well until this afternoon.
I was with Ethan at the library for a teen activity. She texted me that the repair tech had not called her back as he said she would and she was crying. I called her and asked if I could call the guy and find out what was going on. She said yes and so I called. The receptionist in the service department answered and I said, “My name is Maria, and I am calling for my wife. I need to talk to either the supervisor or (tech guy’s name)”. She asked for my wife’s name and I gave it to her. It took a few minutes but the the tech guy came to the line. We talked and I explained our frustration and I also said I was calling for my wife, Sylvia after giving him my name. He gave me an update on the status of the repairs and said he would get back with me within 45 minutes. I asked if I could call back in 45 minutes if he had not called and he said, “OH I will call.” He did call back after 35 minutes. Sylvia answered and he said, “I think your wife (in a hesitant voice) called me earlier and I told her I would get back with you.” They spoke for a bit and he said they needed to keep her car a bit longer, that it was still running rough and they would need to flush the system again. There had been water in her tank!! Sylvia got off of the phone and told me what he had said about her WIFE calling. Now I think I told him my name, but I really don’t remember and my voice is feminine, but maybe he wasn’t sure. Being able to say that I was calling for my wife and that WE were frustrated got the guy’s attention I think. I don’t think that we were two women got his attention, but that a SPOUSE was calling to state that their spouse was unhappy with the service she was receiving. I also think asking for a supervisor woke some people up too!
I am so happy I could help with this situation and I am glad Sylvia let me help her. We are both very independent women and don’t like to ask for help sometimes.
On the bad gas issue, we have done some research and as soon as she gets her car back she is going to file a complaint with the Texas Department of Agriculture. The repair tech said they would give us the sample from her tank to show the water with the gas. She has her receipt to show that she had bought gas from this particular shop and the repair bill. We are hoping we can get the station to pay for the repairs, but I have no idea how all of that works. We will have to just figure it out, but we will do that together.
Tomorrow is the day that Sylvia and I will be getting married. I am very excited. My mom and the two boys will be there. After a conversation I had with my dad last night (I had called to tell him about Jack finding a job), I am glad I have not told him about tomorrow. He will find out after the fact. Sylvia REALLY doesn’t want him there and I don’t even think he would come. I just prefer NOT to put myself in a situation where I know he is going to hurt my feelings. ENOUGH OF THAT NOW! I think I am going to try to get out today and get her a card for tomorrow morning. I also want to get her some flowers! One of our friends is hosting a party for us in a few weeks to celebrate the occasion. I never thought I would be getting married again…and I also never thought I would be able to marry Sylvia, but so glad that I can!
Sylvia and I are getting a bit more serious with our wedding plans. We went out with some friends this past weekend and we all discussed marriage. Of course, we discussed our upcoming wedding. We had not seen some of our friends for several months and many of them did not know we were getting married. Sylvia is not one to post this information on Facebook and I have refrained from posting information about our wedding out of respect for her wishes. Several of them asked for details and we said we were keeping it simple. One of our friends asked how we were going to dress! I have always teased Sylvia that I want her to wear a German style dress and while we were talking she mentioned that. She and another friend started looking at dresses online on their phones. The conversation then turned to what would I wear. Someone mentioned lederhosen, because they know I would never wear a dress (and they are right)! I am now looking at traditional men’s clothing worn in Germany. There are some really nice clothes, but I wonder if I will feel comfortable dressing in men’s clothes. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wear men’s jeans and I will buy men’s shirts if I like what I see. My biggest issue is I am not comfortable dressing up for any occasion. Once I pick out what I want to wear, I will post a pic from the website. We shall see what happens? We may just dump that idea and wear jeans and dress up as cowboys…we do live in Texas!