It has been a LONG while since I posted. Life has been pretty good. It has been almost a year since my gall bladder surgery. In fact, it will be a year ago tomorrow. That is hard to believe. This time last year we didn’t know what was wrong with me and why I was in so much pain. A lot has happened in a year. Jack got a job as a computer technician working for a local school district. Ethan is a junior this year. I have been working with a lawyer for guardianship. When he turns 18 I will help him apply for SSI and medicaid. That will be fun!!!!
Sylvia and I have been doing well. It can still be hard to live with someone. For the most part we get along. We had a very good Christmas. We enjoyed baking together. One of the main reasons I got online tonight is we just had a big fight. She has been grumpy because she has had to work a lot at night. I am grumpy today because I had an afternoon of losing a camera, and after 20 min of looking finally finding it. It threw me off my plans for the afternoon. I had three mystery shops to do and this put me behind schedule. She has shops to input when she gets home so she is busy. Today, Jack and his girlfriend found out they got their apartment. There was a lot to discuss and later when I was trying tell Sylvia about it, well I felt like I was getting the third degree from her. I felt like I couldn’t even tell my story, because she kept asking questions. We were sitting down to eat pie, so I just got up and left the table. I couldn’t handle it. She comes back and wants to know what my problem is. I tell her. I tell her I am grumpy just as much as she is grumpy, which isn’t good. I tell her the story again and she says, “Well you left out some of those details when we were talking”. I then said, “well I couldn’t even tell the story because you were badgering me with questions”. She thinks I “momma” Jack too much. The weekend they are planning on moving, Sylvia and I will be with Ethan out of town. I basically told Jack and the girlfriend, they could sleep at our house if they didn’t get their bed moved in. The first day is a Thursday. Jack is taking off work, but if they don’t have other strong people to help they will have issues getting a bed in to a second story apartment. She just keeps telling me NOT to tell them what to do and LET them decide. I kept trying to tell her that I suggested it and I really don’t care where they sleep, but I wanted them to have an option. The apartment is 5 minutes from us.
Sylvia and I argue about some of the stupidest things. There is usually something underlying there…..like being tired, or our sex life has slowed, or just LIFE has gotten in the way. I hate that we fight over stupid stuff. We are fighting about my kid moving out. I am glad they will be close and it doesn’t bother me they are moving. What bothers me is I can’t even help him without the third degree. I can’t even give advice without the third degree. Moms do these things. HELL my mom still does this to me (just today even) and it drives me crazy but it is her being a mom. A mom is always a mom. Sylvia loves my kids, I know she does, but she doesn’t get me being a mom, and that I will always be looking out for them. I will always want to help them. I will always want to be there for them.
Sylvia went with me to see my gynecologist today. I wanted her there to hear my options regarding my recent “female issues” that involved trips to the emergency room. This was our first trip to a doctor together that didn’t involve the emergency room. The doctor explained that I could try hormone replacement, but I am not having night sweats or any symptoms like that. I have not had the severe cramps since late October, so that is a good thing. My main issue is my HEAVY period when it does rear its ugly head. I feel like a teenage girl who never knows when it will arrive and how heavy will it be. I don’t mind having a period, but what I do mind is having an accident. It was really heavy last month and quite gross…..and that is all I am going to say. I don’t think you all want to hear the gory details. We did discuss a hysterectomy and we decided to wait on that unless something more serious occurs again. I may also consider ablation which would remove the lining of the uterus, which would stop my periods or greatly lessen them. We discussed all of these options and one more! The doctor has prescribed me a medicine to take when my period starts that will keep it from getting too heavy. As soon as my period starts I will take two pills three times a day until my period ends. We will start there and see how it goes. I should actually be on my period right now, but it hasn’t showed….YET! I do skip sometimes.
I think we have a good plan and I was glad that Sylvia was there to hear all the options and the pros and cons of each. I am happy that she took the time to be with me and want to be there. It means a lot to me and I want to be there for her as well. I am off until January 2nd and she is down to just a few students then she will be off. I am glad this appointment is behind us and we will move on and see what happens!
My father and I had managed to avoid discussing politics since Spring of last year. I know he is a Trump supporter and he knows he shouldn’t share politics with me. When same-sex marriage became legal I had to unfollow him on Facebook because of his rantings about the Supreme Court. I have forgiven him so many times through the years for what he said to me and for what he had done to our family when he divorced my mother. He never congratulated me on my wedding to Sylvia, and yet I tried to keep him in my life. He had called my younger sister to ask her opinion of my marriage, because again, he doesn’t support it. I cried everyday after Trump won, because I knew that I might “lose” my relationship with my father. My dad’s wife, my brother, my half brother and half sister, my dad’s sister (my aunt, of course) and several other members on that side of the family support Trump. I was already trying to make a plan in my head for Christmas. I would ask him to come to my house and see us, because I would not want to go and be up around everyone for fear when/if politics came up I would lose control of my mouth and there would be a horrible argument. Now I don’t even want to do that.
I posted my feelings about the election on Facebook. Nothing too bad. I was disappointed and I knew the holidays would be hard. Several friends responded and then my mom responded about me being a strong single mom until I met Sylvia and then something about how she could relate as a single mom and that she never got much child support. She later told me that she had responded to ONE person’s response and really thought no one else would see it, just the one person. Well someone saw it and told my dad. He then called my younger sister who doesn’t live close by and told her my mom had lied and he didn’t appreciate it. He then told her that he wasn’t calling me because he knew I was already upset with him. Well she gave him a lecture and a list of other things he had done. Of course, then I find out about it and I am not happy that he has upset my mother because she found out about it as well. I called him all upset to talk to him and he didn’t want to talk about it. I hung up on him and have blocked his phone number along with my step-mom’s number. Her sister tried to get involved and texted me and I told her to stay out of it.
On top of all of that, my brother called my mom to ask her to talk to me because HE voted for Trump and HE wanted me to know that Trump wasn’t going to try to change the law on same-sex marriage. My sister slipped and told me this. You know it is not just the law about same-sex marriage it is future laws that will allow business to discriminate against those in the LGBT community.
Needless to say, it has been a drama filled week. I am still not sure when or if I will speak to my dad again. He says he accepts me and Sylvia, but doesn’t approve of the lifestyle. He has also said that family shouldn’t have to apologize to family. I am trying to find peace in my heart so I can get through each day. How many times do I let my heart be broken by my father? I don’t know if I can take another heart break. It isn’t easy to know what to do.
Today was a half a day with my students with an early release! We were supposed to have inservice meetings this afternoon, but thanks to some snow that arrived around 10:00 this morning, we were allowed to leave when the kids dismissed. Of course, we made sure they all got home, but then we left. The roads were not too bad driving home, but there were lots of wrecks on some major roads. We may even get ICE tonight! This is some crazy weather. Sylvia has cancelled all of her lessons for tomorrow and we are STAYING HOME. Maybe I can finish all of my grad school work over the weekend! NOT REALLY, but I am really CLOSE to being done for the semester. I have two projects that need to be done and I can focus on those. I have maybe 4 assignments left and those aren’t due until APRIL. Let’s just say, I like to work ahead and get things done! Ethan’s school did not dismiss early so I let him stay at school. He came home happy! His teacher helped them make SNOW ICE CREAM with milk and vanilla. He also got to have a snowball fight with his friends. He was grinning from ear to ear. He had more fun at school then he would have had at home with me!
I hope everyone else is staying warm right now. Winter just doesn’t want to let go. We have Spring Break the week of March 9th! I hope we have decent weather then! I am going to go snuggle with my honey now!
Jack, Ethan and I drove to the college that Jack will be attending in the Fall. Jack and I needed to talk to financial aid, because I was turned down for a parent loan(Long story, but let’s just say NEVER cosign for someone to get a car….this was the ex-husband and I should have known better). He got $4500 more in financial aid through a loan. While we were there he also got to register for his classes and found out his two college classes he took while in high school will transfer down, so two less classes to take! We also got to visit the apartment complex where he will live. He will have three roommates, and each person has their own room. He will share a bathroom with one person and they all share a common area and kitchen. He will have to pay for electricity also, but it is billed through the complex and they said it averages about $20 a month.
Overall, it was a very good visit, but he still needs to find a job. We came home and tried to apply for about $5000 in private loans, but I was turned down as a co-signer, because of the afore mentioned bad choice of co-signing for the ex-husband. ARGGHHHH. We still have two other lenders we are waiting to hear from. My dad said he will co-sign if needed. Sylvia was awesome and sat with me as I had a melt down. I am just so mad at myself, it will be four more years before this stain on my credit is gone. She said that WE will figure this out and SHE will be there for me and Jack. She took care of me and I needed it. I feel better now than I did a few hours before. I’ll let y’all know how it turns out…..I had a long talk with Jack about being careful with money next year while he away from home….and I also told him NEVER co-sign for a loan…unless it is a spouse….never an ex!
It has been a busy few weeks since I last wrote. I decided about a month ago to apply to graduate school to further my career. I have been accepted on a probationary basis and am taking the GRE as my final step to being admitted. I have even received my financial aid award and registered for my classes! Sylvia has been a very big support to me in making this decision. I have bounced the idea around for a few years, but I think I finally found what I really want to do!! It should take me right at two and a half years to finish and get my degree!
Sylvia and I are also going on a short vacation soon all alone! Well, lets clarify that….we are dropping Ethan off at a camp for two nights and we are staying close by. This is the first time though that we will travel and have some time alone. We plan on shopping and eating. I am nervous about leaving Ethan at camp, but it will be good for him. He is excited about going. It is a camp for special needs children and there will be kids there who have the same issues he has.
We are all counting down the days until Summer Break. I am taking the boys on a trip to see my sister and to the state deaf school for a family weekend retreat. Sylvia has way too much work and can’t go with us, but that is OK. I think she sometimes needs a break from all of us and we will have fun! I enjoy getting to see my sister and nephew!
Sylvia and I are doing well. Communication has been really good since we MADE OUR PLAN! I am so thankful to have her in my life. She is my rock.
Yesterday was a hard day. I was off work due to the holiday and the AC man was coming by to do a maintenance service on the unit. Sylvia was at work with a student and I knew I couldn’t disturb her. We didn’t think anything was going to be needed with the AC, so we didn’t make a plan. Well, the AC man comes(this is a company I have used for years) and starts looking at the thermostat. He mentions that it is not the correct kind for a heat pump. We had discovered this six months prior when the they had done a service, but I wasn’t here and Sylvia had them just leave it as it was.
The service guy and I get to talking and he says we will save money if it is connected correctly and use less electricity. I know I can’t call Sylvia, so I just tell him to do it. He tells me the cost–$383 and I just have to decide on my own. We also needed a drainage pipe cleaned that drains out water. The total cost was $461. I texted Sylvia after a while and she calls when she is done. Well, she isn’t happy. She doesn’t understand why we needed to spend the money and such. The guy also mentioned we needed to have the thermostat wires totally replaced next time, if not sooner, because they were degrading.
Now the thermostat that was not correct was one we had gotten and paid someone $25 to install, who should have told us that it was the wrong kind. I knew Sylvia would not be happy about spending money, but she really wasn’t happy. I am in tears and she is upset too. We both finally calm down and agree that next time we will handle it differently. She doesn’t even get home until after 8:00 and this was all happening around 4:00. Later, as we cuddled in bed I told her we needed a plan for the next time a service person comes to the house. If either of us is working, while the other is at the house, we have to decide how we want to communicate. There are times when we just can’t interrupt the other at work. She liked this idea. I told her next time I would text her and give her 15 minutes to reply. If she didn’t call or text then I would just have to decide on my own and she would do the same if she was home.
I assure Sylvia that this is HER house too and she has the right to make decisions about how WE spend our money. I know I am dealing with old baggage from previous girlfriends, and I am hoping one day she does truly believe me! Well, I know she believes me but when things like this happen, it gives her pause.
Things are all good now! Repairs and spending money cause stress in any relationship. We know now what our plan is and hopefully this will help us the next time we have a similar situation.
It has been busy since Thanksgiving, so I have not had a chance to write about Jack and what he was thankful for. We had a great time at my mom’s house and a great dinner. As we sat around the table, my mom asked each person to say what they were thankful for. It finally came around to being Jack’s turn and he said, “I am thankful for my two mom’s and my family!” I was amazed to say the least. Jack has called Sylvia his step-mom before with me and with her, but not to anyone else. Here he was telling our family that he considers Sylvia to be one of his mom’s. Sylvia and I were very touched by this. I am so proud of him.
I remembered to write about this because of a conversation we had today. I picked him up early from school for a orthodontic appointment and we were talking about a project he has at school. We decided we would stop by the Home Depot store to get his materials on the way home. He asked if some of his friends could come over to help since it was a group project. I told him that was fine, but the weekend would be better. He said that was good and I mentioned some errands I had to run and I would take his brother with me. I told him Sylvia might be home. He said, “It is OK if she is home. I told my friends that you are a lesbian.” Once again, I was shocked. He then told me that one of his friends has two moms too. He said it was no big deal. I told him that when I was his age, I didn’t even know what a lesbian was or that I was one! He said, “Mom, this is a different generation.” I am so hoping it is and that we have more tolerance in the world. He told me after we got home that he would never let anyone come between us and that he wouldn’t accept someone into his life that didn’t accept me.
I wonder daily where this wonderful kid came from. As a parent, you always hope you are raising your kid right and then these moments happen and you know you have!