It has been a LONG while since I posted. Life has been pretty good. It has been almost a year since my gall bladder surgery. In fact, it will be a year ago tomorrow. That is hard to believe. This time last year we didn’t know what was wrong with me and why I was in so much pain. A lot has happened in a year. Jack got a job as a computer technician working for a local school district. Ethan is a junior this year. I have been working with a lawyer for guardianship. When he turns 18 I will help him apply for SSI and medicaid. That will be fun!!!!
Sylvia and I have been doing well. It can still be hard to live with someone. For the most part we get along. We had a very good Christmas. We enjoyed baking together. One of the main reasons I got online tonight is we just had a big fight. She has been grumpy because she has had to work a lot at night. I am grumpy today because I had an afternoon of losing a camera, and after 20 min of looking finally finding it. It threw me off my plans for the afternoon. I had three mystery shops to do and this put me behind schedule. She has shops to input when she gets home so she is busy. Today, Jack and his girlfriend found out they got their apartment. There was a lot to discuss and later when I was trying tell Sylvia about it, well I felt like I was getting the third degree from her. I felt like I couldn’t even tell my story, because she kept asking questions. We were sitting down to eat pie, so I just got up and left the table. I couldn’t handle it. She comes back and wants to know what my problem is. I tell her. I tell her I am grumpy just as much as she is grumpy, which isn’t good. I tell her the story again and she says, “Well you left out some of those details when we were talking”. I then said, “well I couldn’t even tell the story because you were badgering me with questions”. She thinks I “momma” Jack too much. The weekend they are planning on moving, Sylvia and I will be with Ethan out of town. I basically told Jack and the girlfriend, they could sleep at our house if they didn’t get their bed moved in. The first day is a Thursday. Jack is taking off work, but if they don’t have other strong people to help they will have issues getting a bed in to a second story apartment. She just keeps telling me NOT to tell them what to do and LET them decide. I kept trying to tell her that I suggested it and I really don’t care where they sleep, but I wanted them to have an option. The apartment is 5 minutes from us.
Sylvia and I argue about some of the stupidest things. There is usually something underlying there…..like being tired, or our sex life has slowed, or just LIFE has gotten in the way. I hate that we fight over stupid stuff. We are fighting about my kid moving out. I am glad they will be close and it doesn’t bother me they are moving. What bothers me is I can’t even help him without the third degree. I can’t even give advice without the third degree. Moms do these things. HELL my mom still does this to me (just today even) and it drives me crazy but it is her being a mom. A mom is always a mom. Sylvia loves my kids, I know she does, but she doesn’t get me being a mom, and that I will always be looking out for them. I will always want to help them. I will always want to be there for them.
We have been very busy for the last few weeks. Both Ethan and I finished started our summer on May 27th! Sylvia is still working and so is Jack. We do still have to get up early two days a week for my niece and nephew who come over while their mom works! Ethan enjoys playing with his cousins and we have been on a few outings having fun. I have completed two of the three days for a workshop this week that has been very interesting. I have a two day workshop next week and then that is all done! I also found out that one other hospital is covering 95% of my bills, so now I am down to just 4 medical bills. I have two doctors that I need to pay, the ambulance and the hospital that didn’t treat me correctly. I am still in discussion with them, because I got my medical records and there are NO doctor’s notes for the first visit. I just have more time to do the research now!
Ethan has a few doctors he needs to see in the next few weeks. I have met my out of pocket limit so I am going to see the eye doctor and visit my gynecologist about menopause! My insurance year starts over on Sept. 1st so I have to get in what I can now. Even my prescriptions are $0.00. Having to go to the ER seven times which included two CT scans, lots of lab work, ultrasounds, a HIDA scan and many other things is not the way to get free medical care, but it is what it is! I know most people complain about their health insurance, and believe me there are things I don’t like about mine, but I am glad I had it for this situation.
Sylvia and I celebrated one year of marriage this month. We went out to eat and had a great time. We have actually been together since the Fall of 2010, so almost seven years. I am so glad we were able to marry!
The summer is already going by so fast. My mom is having surgery in a few weeks so I’ll be helping her with that. i plan on taking Ethan to see my sister and nephew, so that will be a fun few days. I have made myself just SIT and watch some movies….which isn’t easy. I like to stay busy.
I also want to say that I am feeling SO MUCH BETTER. I know that sounds weird, but I think I finally have my stamina back since having the surgery. I am walking at least 10,000 steps. This all started about a week after I finished school.
Well, this has been a rambling post, but there was lots to share.
I was unsure of how to title this, but I think Nighttime Routine will work. Sylvia and I have this routine we do each night. Now, each night is not exactly the same but there are four things we say to each other each night, besides the “I love you” we say to each other. On a good night, we are both home and in bed around 9:30. We will lay in bed and cuddle. We talk about our day and what we have for the next day. Sometimes we are tired and just lay there. I might rub her back for a bit. I always have her scratch my back and if she isn’t home to do it, my back seems even more itchy! Right before we turn out the lights one us will start with one of our four sayings that we say each night. Each of us ends up saying each of these sayings. They are “I will see you in the morning. I will see you in the middle of the night. I am here if you need me. I hope you can sleep.” We don’t say them in any particular order, but we always say them. Even if I go to bed before Sylvia, because she worked late and has more work to do on the computer. She will come over and give me a kiss and we say these four things.
Now, my gall bladder issues really tested the “I will be here if you need me”, because I did need Sylvia MANY nights until my gall bladder was removed. We have added to this saying. Now we say, “I am here if you need me, but I hope that you don’t”. I then say, “but if you do, please wake me up”, because she helped me SO much when I was in pain before the doctors figured out it was my gall bladder.She also adds “but I hope you don’t” when she says “I am here if you need me.”
This may sound silly to you all, but I love that we do this every night. We really try hard to cuddle each night, but sometimes life gets in the way. We try hard not to let it, but having our routine.
It only took FOUR ER visits this week and one ambulance ride, but we found out it was my gall bladder that was causing my pain. Sylvia took me to the ER early on Monday morning (1:00 am) and was told I had kidney stones. WE came home and I took the day off. I set up a urology appointment and went to work on Tuesday. I was doing OK on Wednesday, but then started feeling bad around 3:00 pm. Sylvia took me to a different ER on Tuesday night. After two hours and a CT scan I was told it wasn’t kidney stones and to go home. My stepmom took me back to the same hospital around 4 AM and was told the same thing and was asked if I was a narcotic user. My stepmom chewed them out, they gave me pain meds and sent me home. Sylvia took me to my primary care doctor who thought it might be a gynecological issue or a gastro issue. We visited a urologist who confirmed it was not kidney stones and agreed with my primary care doctor. I got an appointment with my gynecologist and tried to tolerate the pain. Well Thursday night it was too much. My stepmom advised I call an ambulance and so we did. I arrived there and long story short, they ended up admitting me, doing more tests and figured out that my gall bladder LOOKED fine but was actually working at only 10%, This took all day to figure out and by 5:00 pm they were prepping me for surgery.
My mom came in to help Sylvia. Sylvia was exhausted from the ER trips and work. I got home yesterday and have been taking it easy. I’ll be out at least the next three days from work. The boys have been good and Sylvia has been awesome. I’ll be calling the second hospital tomorrow to file a complaint and work on making sure they know how much they messed up. It is a LONG story but the nurse was an ass and they did not take care of me.
I have to go back to work on Monday! I have had two weeks off and have really enjoyed them, but even with the time off, I still feel like I didn’t get enough time with Sylvia. She still had to work the week before Christmas, but was off this week. However, this is one of the few times that she has NO students and NO other work that has to be done so she wants to just stay home. This is fine, but she doesn’t like to watch TV with me and she wants to chill out and have some time to herself. Again, this is fine with me, but then I am home and don’t have much that has to be done so I want to go and DO something. I took Ethan off to a museum this past Wednesday with my niece. It was a lot of fun and we got ice cream afterwards. Yesterday, we took down Christmas decorations and then Ethan and I went to the library for a while. I don’t mean to complain, because we have had time to nap a few times and we have even been able to sleep in to 8:00 several mornings. I really would have liked more cuddle time at night and more time for love making (OK, I said it, I wasn’t sure if I could). When we are both working, we climb in to bed and just want to sleep. I know that “quantity” is not important, but it doesn’t help when you go several weeks with no intimacy in the bedroom. It wasn’t a complete bust, we did have some time over the break, but it still seems like it has not been enough. We have both been skipping periods and that has allowed for more opportunities, but then today her period showed up. Sorry if this is TMI, but with two women you have twice the luck of having a period nix any chance of love making. I do enjoy being able to sleep in and cuddle in the morning. I enjoy cuddling at night too, but sometimes I just wish for a bit more…maybe I am being greedy and selfish….maybe I just enjoy how close I feel to her when we make love. I will always love her, no matter what! I am getting ready to head to bed and look for some cuddle time!
Sylvia and I lead a very simple life. I work a typical school day and also do some mystery shopping on the weekends. Sylvia teaches also, but not in a school district. Her work day varies from day to day based on when a student needs a lesson. She doesn’t get home until 8:00 some nights, but her work day may have started at 10:00 am. This is just how things are for us. It is nice int he summer when I am off and we can see each other more, because I don’t have to leave for work. This is also true for the holidays and she is even off more around this time of year. However, we tend to be home bodies and we don’t go out much. We have a small group of friends that we go to dinner with. We did go to Christmas party this last Saturday and had a good time. We will go to a friend’s house on New Year’s Eve for a party as well.
I just wonder if we should do more together. She doesn’t like going to the movies so we don’t do that. We will go off for a weekend when we take Ethan to his special needs camp in March. We usually find something we can do together on that weekend. I sometimes wish one of us had a more adventurous spirit that would encourage the other one to go off and just have an adventure. It doesn’t have to be exotic or dangerous, just something we can do together.
If you have any ideas for me, please do share them!!!! Merry Christmas!
It is that time of year again and the baking has already begun!! Sylvia and I both like to bake our special treats for Christmas. She has students and co-workers that she gives these baked goods to and I have staff and friends I like to share with. I even make up around 30 gift bags to send with Ethan full of these Christmas treats. My all time favorite baked good is the Snowball cookies that I make each year. Some of Sylvia’s co-workers asked her if she would be bringing those white cookies (snowball cookies) and chocolate truffles again this year. It makes me happy to know people enjoy what I make. Sylvia found the truffle recipe two years ago and we made them again last year. We plan on making them again this year. Both boys enjoy coming in to help with the truffle making and they are so easy to make. Sylvia makes up the chocolate and then refrigerates it. She and I roll the truffles and the boys decorate them in the various sprinkles we purchased. We count the truffles as we go and on the 11th truffle one person gets to do a quality control test and taste the truffle. We then restart the counting and the next person gets to have a taste on the 11th truffle. We make about 100 truffles each time and enjoy sitting around and chatting!
Sylvia has a chocolate walnut recipe type of candy she makes, but we don’t have an official name for it. We call them the “walnut things”, but they are good. I also make homemade pralines! My great-grandmother taught my mother how to make pralines and I have been making them for the past four years. I don’t usually send those in the treat bags, because not everyone likes them. However, I do make them for friends and family as Christmas gifts. Two years ago someone asked if they could pay me to make the pralines for them and I did. She gave them as a gift and said her friend loved them. My niece and nephew come over every year and we make homemade sugar cookies with Ethan. If Jack is home, he will stop and help us decorate the cookies. We use store bought icing and then use food coloring to make different colors. I also have tubes of icing we can use to decorate the cookies as well as sprinkles. This year I have decorative eyeballs to use! The kids enjoy it and so do I! We make lots of good memories. I have been making these cookies since Jack was around two years old. Back then my little sister and brother would come over (they were 10 and 6) to make and decorate cookies!
I enjoy giving these items as presents! I think homemade gifts are sometimes the best, especially when you can eat them!
My father and I had managed to avoid discussing politics since Spring of last year. I know he is a Trump supporter and he knows he shouldn’t share politics with me. When same-sex marriage became legal I had to unfollow him on Facebook because of his rantings about the Supreme Court. I have forgiven him so many times through the years for what he said to me and for what he had done to our family when he divorced my mother. He never congratulated me on my wedding to Sylvia, and yet I tried to keep him in my life. He had called my younger sister to ask her opinion of my marriage, because again, he doesn’t support it. I cried everyday after Trump won, because I knew that I might “lose” my relationship with my father. My dad’s wife, my brother, my half brother and half sister, my dad’s sister (my aunt, of course) and several other members on that side of the family support Trump. I was already trying to make a plan in my head for Christmas. I would ask him to come to my house and see us, because I would not want to go and be up around everyone for fear when/if politics came up I would lose control of my mouth and there would be a horrible argument. Now I don’t even want to do that.
I posted my feelings about the election on Facebook. Nothing too bad. I was disappointed and I knew the holidays would be hard. Several friends responded and then my mom responded about me being a strong single mom until I met Sylvia and then something about how she could relate as a single mom and that she never got much child support. She later told me that she had responded to ONE person’s response and really thought no one else would see it, just the one person. Well someone saw it and told my dad. He then called my younger sister who doesn’t live close by and told her my mom had lied and he didn’t appreciate it. He then told her that he wasn’t calling me because he knew I was already upset with him. Well she gave him a lecture and a list of other things he had done. Of course, then I find out about it and I am not happy that he has upset my mother because she found out about it as well. I called him all upset to talk to him and he didn’t want to talk about it. I hung up on him and have blocked his phone number along with my step-mom’s number. Her sister tried to get involved and texted me and I told her to stay out of it.
On top of all of that, my brother called my mom to ask her to talk to me because HE voted for Trump and HE wanted me to know that Trump wasn’t going to try to change the law on same-sex marriage. My sister slipped and told me this. You know it is not just the law about same-sex marriage it is future laws that will allow business to discriminate against those in the LGBT community.
Needless to say, it has been a drama filled week. I am still not sure when or if I will speak to my dad again. He says he accepts me and Sylvia, but doesn’t approve of the lifestyle. He has also said that family shouldn’t have to apologize to family. I am trying to find peace in my heart so I can get through each day. How many times do I let my heart be broken by my father? I don’t know if I can take another heart break. It isn’t easy to know what to do.
I am tired of not feeling well. I woke up yesterday morning with severe cramps, AGAIN. I had made it through the week with some minor cramping, but this was horrible. I spent most of the day in bed yesterday with a heating pad and taking ibuprofin. The tylenol with codeine that I took didn’t seem to help a bit. I did manage to sleep and woke up with no cramps this morning, but then they came back. By 11:30 am I was in awful pain. Sylvia had left for a few hours to work. I called the gynecologist and spoke to the doctor on call. She told me to take two of the tyelnol with codeine with 3 ibuprofin. I did that and it did help. I took more tylenol with codeine 4 hours later and then more ibuprofin 2 hours after that. I still have the cramps, but they are NOT bad at all. Of course, if I back off the meds, then they will come full force.
I will be calling the doctor when the office opens and making damn sure I get in there tomorrow. I just can’t keep doing this. I would just rather have her schedule surgery and take it all, if that is the true issue. Of course, the sonogram showed nothing and we are still waiting on the blood work results. The blood work at the ER showed no infection so that shouldn’t be the issue. I almost went to the ER today, but I don’t think they will do anything more than what they did before.
Sylvia doesn’t know what to do and worries so much. I really just want some answers and some ideas on what to do about this. UGH is all I have to say.
Sylvia took me to the Emergency Room yesterday morning. We are both experiencing symptoms of pre-menopause….skipping periods, sweats at night, and for me cramps. I haven’t had cramps since I was a teenager. The last few times I have had a period, I have had cramping, but this time it was to the extreme. It started a week before I even got my period, which was a week late. My period arrived, and the cramps got worse. I stayed home from work a week ago Friday and my family doctor gave me some pain meds. They worked, but the cramps were never really gone. Fast forward to this past Thursday and I was home again. The cramps were keeping me up at night and I couldn’t sleep. Even with the pain meds and a heating pad it was awful. I woke up around 4:00 am on Friday morning and could not go back to sleep. I was in tears the pain was so bad. I woke Sylvia up around 4:45 and asked her to take me into the ER. This was not an easy decision for me, but the pain was horrible.
We woke Jack up and he was put in charge of getting Ethan to school. He was concerned and he stepped up and did a good job while we were gone. We arrived at the hospital and we were taken back to a triage room as soon as we got there. There was only one other patient there besides us! The doctor said it was good I came in because it could be my pancreas or my gall bladder. They took blood and got all of my information. No one asked who Sylvia was, so I finally told the person taking down all of my information. No questions were asked about her being my wife and it was handled just like we were a heterosexual couple. We had always wondered if it would be, and it was.
My bloodwork came back and there was no infection. Everything looked good and the doctor said I was healthy. He said to follow up with my gynecologist. I had talked to them on Thursday and have an appointment for Monday. That was the soonest they could see me. The doctor did give Tylenol with codeine so I took that when we got home (Oh, I did get morphine while at the hospital). I slept pretty much all day yesterday. I took one more tylenol with codeine in the afternoon and then some ibuprofin later. I slept 10 hours and woke up feeling better today. However, I have still had minor cramps and needed some ibuprofin. The cramps have gotten a little worse this evening so I think I will be taking a tyleonol with codeine here in a bit.
Sylvia took very good care of me this whole time. She held my hand when they had to take blood out of the top of my hand….the veins in my arm always roll. She made me go to bed and she took care of Ethan when he came home from school. She even made sure he got to bed on time. Jack was home when we got home from the hospital and was happy to hear all was well. He went off to work and when he came home he helped Sylvia.
I hope to get some answers as to what is going on this coming Monday.