Civil Rights

I am really getting tired of people talking about Kim Davis and her religious freedom. I know I add fuel to the fire by writing about her and I am giving her the attention she wants, but it has just gone too far. She is in jail because she won’t do her job. She chose to work for the government and took an oath to fulfill her responsibilities as a county clerk, which means issuing marriage licenses. Now maybe she wasn’t keeping current with the current political arena and gay marriage, or maybe she just thought it would never happen, but it did. She spent two months arguing her case and she lost. The Supreme Court will not intervene and the governor of her state will not call a special session to change the law. I believe there are two other county clerks who state that they will not issue marriage licenses to same sex couples, but they have not been sued…yet.

I watched the preview for the movie “Suffragette” and I realized that groups of people have been fighting for equal rights for a VERY long time. It was only in 1919, which is just about 100 years ago that women in America were allowed to vote. “Suffragette” is about the struggle for women to vote in England, but it doesn’t matter where the movie is set, it is about the struggle of a group to have the right to be treated fairly and equally as the majority group. Women were hit by men, thrown in jail, and had their children taken away from them. I cannot imagine how hard this fight was for them. It was not easy, and yet women today have more rights because of this struggle and women are still not always treated equally in the workforce, but they now at least have the right to sue if they can prove it.

In the 1950s and 1960s African-American fought for equal rights. They were also beaten, spit upon, threatened, killed and harassed, yet they prevailed. It was not easy and yet they did it, because it was right and our Constitution says, “ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL”. Is it all fair in America now…no, but it is better than it used to be and all minority groups stand together to ensure that all groups are treated equally, no matter their color or gender.

We then move to the 1990s and the passage of the American’s with Disabilities Act that protects disabled people from discrimination and ensures equal access for all. We now have buildings that must meet requirements for access to buildings with ramps and elevators and I am sure LOTS of other things, but they are there. Interpreters are required for the deaf, but many still have to fight for this right. There are rules about hotels having handicap accessible rooms and so on. This didn’t just happen because the government thought it was the right thing to do, it happened because this group fought for their rights. It happened because “ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL”. Some would say that it isn’t fair that people with disabilities get “special” treatment, but it isn’t. It is about leveling the playing field for all.

Now we have same sex marriage and this just didn’t happen overnight. This has been a long hard battle, and I am not one to try to go back and discuss what all has happened. I have only known my true self for five years, so I don’t pretend to know what it is like to be discriminated against because of my sexual orientation. I do know that I will not be treated differently because I am gay. I will not let someone hide behind their religions freedom and take away MY CIVIL RIGHTS. People in this country are allowed to practice whatever religion they like, as long as it doesn’t infringe on others most basic civil rights. Would the Christians in this country be as apt to stand behind Kim Davis if she were a Muslim crying religious freedom, a Jew, a Buddhist?? I doubt it.

I don’t pretend to be an activist. I don’t pretend to know how to write eloquently. However, I do know that the Founding Fathers wrote the US Constitutions and it has stood for over 200 years as the law of this land with only 28 amendments (I think that is right!). The Constitution has not changed much since it was written, but the interpretation of it has changed because TIMES have changed. My sons’ generation will not tolerate those who seek to discriminate based on sexual orientation….because they are growing up with it. Times change, beliefs change and that is not a bad thing……Those who don’t like change would still like to see segregated communities, no interracial marriage, and women the property of their husbands or fathers.

I don’t think Kim Davis is a bad person, but I think she has chosen to fight for a cause that has no merit in the law….and too many people just can’t see that.

Vertigo!

I had a severe case of vertigo back in March of this year. It happened over spring break. My eyes were darting back and forth and I could hardly walk. I didn’t even know what it was until I went to the doctor. He gave me some meds and a print out of some exercises to do. It took me two days to get over this case of vertigo. I had a mild case of vertigo right after school let out. I didn’t have as much dizziness, but I was very nauseated. I also had this fuzzy head feeling. I did the vertigo exercises to see if that would help and then I threw up. I spent most of the day in bed and felt better by the next day. Well today I had the fuzzy head feeling and my stomach was just off. I wasn’t quite nauseated, but I was. I did the exercises this afternoon and puked right after. I felt better, but still have the fuzzy head a bit even after laying down. I think I will be going to be early tonight.

I am expecting my period any day now, so I did some research on vertigo and the menstrual cycle. Turns out there is a link to vertigo and perimenopause (I am 48). Perimenopuase happens before you hit menopause. I even found a blog about it http://www.theperimenopauseblog.com/35-symptoms-of-perimenopause-dizziness-vertigo/comment-page-5/#comment-27763

I am hoping I feel better tomorrow. Sylvia has come home and is taking good care of me. She knows I will wake up hungry some time in the middle of the night since I haven’t really eaten much, so she has found me a snack to put by the bed. She also doesn’t want to take the chance that I wake her up in the middle of the night searching for food! I just hope I can sleep well and feel better!

Never Cosign

Before I met Sylvia I helped my ex-husband by co-signing for a car. He didn’t have bad credit at the time, he just didn’t have much credit, because a lot of things were in my name. It was a catch-22. He needed a car to get to work and I needed him to work so he could pay child support. He had totaled the car he had when we divorce and had been driving a clunker that was always breaking down. It has been almost 5 years since I cosigned and 4 years since it was repossessed. I was na├»ve and still sort of cared for him, and I was worried about him having a job. I knew better than to co-sign, but at that moment I didn’t think straight. I am now paying the price when trying to get a new car. I got the new car, but with a higher percentage rate than I would like. I kick myself every time I think about it. Thankfully, Sylvia doesn’t give me a hard time about it. She tells me not to beat myself up about it and to let it go. I have a problem letting things go. I say all this to let you all know DO NOT COSIGN a loan for anyone, unless it is your spouse and only IF you feel good about it. You know your finances and if your family can afford it. DON’T let anyone manipulate you and make you feel guilty. I knew better, but I freaked out….I should have thought it out more and I should have asked my MOTHER! I’ll have to wait until sometime in 2018 to get my credit report clear and clean!

What to do?

My dad usually calls me for any summer type of holiday and invites the family over to swim. Sometimes we go, sometimes we don’t. It just depends on what we are doing, but I always get the phone call. This year I didn’t get the phone call. I haven’t spoken to my dad since the Supreme Court decided their ruling on same-sex marriage. Am I reading too much into this? I don’t know. My former mother-in-law (ex-husband’s mother) texted me and congratulated me on the Supreme Court decision. My mom was with me out of state and was quite excited. She even said she had a ring I could use when I ask Sylvia to marry me, or when Sylvia asks me!! My grandmother was quite excited as well.

My dad posts three not so nice posts on Facebook that I blogged about a few days ago. I wrote my opinion back to him and then silence between us. I have never believed in just cutting a family member out of your life, but at this point, I won’t be the first one to make the move. It shouldn’t always have to be me. If he truly is Christian then he can make the first move. Am I being childish? Possibly. I feel like this is something I have to do for myself and for Sylvia. She won’t even go to his house anymore. The last time he was here for Ethan’s birthday back in April, he had a conversation with Sylvia. Now she is from Germany and grew up listening to the Holocaust stories. She knows how bad it was and how it has been something that all Germans have to deal with and hear about. My dad actually said to her that we should kill all the Muslims….all of them, even children. She told me this after he left. Now, he shouldn’t be saying that to anyone, but especially to someone who has had the guilt of the Holocaust put upon her since she can remember. I was flabbergasted that he would do that. I don’t know what has happened to him. I don’t know much about the Bible, but I do know. “let he without sin cast the first stone” (or something close to that) and he has sinned. He goes to church every Sunday and chastises me for not going when he gets a chance. He doesn’t live a Christian life when he speaks with words of hate. I cannot tolerate it anymore. I won’t be this “kid” at the age of 48 who doesn’t stand up to her own father. He is wrong and his is SO wrong and he can’t even see it. For now, I am just not going to talk to him. It will come to a head sooner or later and it may not be pretty.

Marriage!

Sylvia and I were laying in bed talking last night. I love it when we have time to just lay in bed and talk. We have talked marriage, and I said something about asking her to marry me and she said, “well what if I want to ask YOU?” I know that even in heterosexual relationships that the woman can ask the man to marry her. It does happen, just not very often. The other question I have is, lets say I am the one do the asking, and I get her a ring (well, really a necklace or something, she doesn’t like rings and I am not sure she will compromise on this) then do I buy myself a ring when I purchase her jewelry. I mean, I know when my now ex-husband asked me to marry him he had a ring, and then we chose his wedding band and my wedding band to go with my engagement ring. There is no right or wrong way, I am sure, but I am curious as to what others have done. If she asks me or I ask her, it really doesn’t matter, and really jewelry doesn’t make the marriage, it is the love, but I would like to hear from others.

Right now, I wear an Infinity ring from John Avery and she wears the matching necklace. I do plan on asking her sometime this year, and hope we get married in 2016. We shall see! We then have to decide about our last names. I could easily give up my last name, because it is my ex-husband’s name, I just hate having a different last name than my kids. It can be awkward when it comes to school things, but then again, straight couples deal with this issue too. I would love to take Sylvia’s last name, but we will talk about it and see. I do NOT want a hyphenated last name…no way! I am OUT at work to my boss and to HR, so that isn’t the issue….it is being out with everyone else…parents of my students and even my students possibly. They would ask about the name change, I tell them I remarried, then the….”OH WHERE DID YOU MEET HIM, or OH WHAT DOES HE DO?” I then say, “well she…..” and there you go. I don’t think anyone will really care, but there is always that chance of ONE person being a jerk about it. Hell, my own father is a jerk about it.

These are all decisions that will come in the next year or so….nothing has to be decided now. Please do give me some feedback!

Start of Summer

Now that all of the rain has ended, SUMMER has truly begun. It is HOT and we are only in the 90s right now. Ethan and I were up early to run some errands before the heat really got bad. Jack was off all day with his girlfriend for her high school graduation. Sylvia left early for work, so we all had a busy day. Ethan and I went to an ice cream social that was outside, IN THE HEAT, for a support group meeting for Tourette Syndrome. We were under the shade of a tree at least, and we drank LOTS of cold water. We also ate some yummy ice cream. It was fun and I got to talk to other parents. Ethan got to hang out with some kids his age. He and I then grabbed some lunch and came home. Sylvia and I did get to lay down and take a nap this afternoon for an HOUR! Oh now that was nice. She is off seeing one of her friends tonight who is having a small party to celebrate something or another. I didn’t feel like going and Sylvia was OK with that. I went out around 7:00 PM and did some easy yard work, but still sweated A LOT.

I started watching a new Netflix series, Sense8. It is pretty good and there are some lesbian and gay main characters. The story lines have been interesting. I watched four episodes just today. Ethan and I have to hit the road in the morning to go do some mystery shopping, and the first shop will be at our FAVORITE donut shop. NO WONDER I AM NOT LOSING WEIGHT! I then have two gas shops and we get to come home!! Jack will head back to school tomorrow and then the week begins on Monday. I will have to keep y’all updated on the guest bathroom make over that hopefully is starting next week. One company is going to come out and measure the bathroom sink vanity to put a new one in. That will take a few weeks, because they have to special order the vanity top. Another guy is going to paint the bathroom, put in a new mirror and new lights. I put in a new tub a few years ago and tiled the whole tub area. I also put in a new toilet. This will finally get the whole bathroom made over!! I am excited. Sylvia and I want to redo our bathroom next!

Lots of rambling tonight! Lots going on. I hope to enjoy the next few weeks before my grad school class starts on July 7th!!

Three More Weeks!

Ethan and I have only three more weeks of school and then we are OFF for the summer. Well, I will still be doing mystery shopping and then I start my summer grad school class on July 7th, so I am not totally OFF, but I won’t have to wake up at 5:35 each morning!! Jack is in a vocational program and his new semester started this past Monday. He has a full 15 week summer semester so he will be off at school all summer. Of course, he is HOME this weekend to be with his girlfriend for a banquet she is attending, but he won’t have his typical summer off! He will get two weeks off between the Summer and Fall semester, and then be back at work!

The professor for my practicum class emailed the class to tell us the requirements for the class. We will be using several IQ and academic assessments that we need access to through the school district that is allowing us to do our internship. My special ed. director has already approved me working within the district to complete my internship and I checked with the testing coordinator and we have all the assessments I need access too. Now, I won’t be testing kids at school (unless they have an evaluation due and I will be working with another diagnostician), so I will have to recruit nieces, nephews, my brother and sister-in-law, Ethan, Jack, and any other adult or kid I know to test. Anyone want a FREE IQ test?? I have to administer each test so many times, and it will be good practice! I have to get 160 hours completed within the school district, but that shouldn’t be difficult. I will be out of the classroom starting next year and back to the role of the Lead Teacher running my department. I will be running IEP meetings and working with other districts on how to best serve the students. Let’s just say, I am ready for this change. I will miss being in the classroom, but I am ready for this. It will be a CRAZY semester to say the least, and I am hoping Sylvia and I can survive it. She is so supportive of this path I chose to follow. She encouraged me to go back to school! I just have to be sure to give her the attentions she needs. She is so much more giving than I am in some ways. I can get so self centered, but I am working on it and at least I realize that I do it. My work is one of my passions though! At least the summer won’t be TOO crazy!

Ethan starts high school next year, so that will be ANOTHER big thing for next year. Hopefully it will be a smooth transition and he won’t have too many issues. His issues add to my stress at times. He has grown up a LOT in the last few years, but he still has a LOT more growing up to do!

Counting the days…..12 1/2 actual SCHOOL days LEFT and then SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Getting Older

I turned 48 about a month ago and Sylvia is 49. Overall we are in good health, although we both could lose a few pounds….well maybe more than a few. The one thing that is driving me crazy is my PERIOD…..I am sure I am seeing the first signs of menopause, but man it sucks. Last month, Sylvia and I started our periods on the same day. Mine last 3 days and hers lasted ten. Sometimes I have a lot of symptoms prior to my period and sometimes I am fine. Oh and last month my period was a WEEK early. Yea, I know as I get older my period won’t be regular, but man it sucks when it comes a whole week early. I had been very tired for the week prior to it arriving and my stomach had been upset. I actually told Sylvia that if felt like my usual period symptoms, but this would make it a week early. Well, that question got answered when my period came a week early.

I am exhausted today and have an upset stomach. Well, now I am wondering if this is due to my period coming, which again would be a week early. Now if it only lasts three days, then it isn’t too bad, but I hate these symptoms. I know I am not in the best of shape, but I am walking 10,000 steps a day or more and doing pretty good, and then on a day like today, I just want to crawl into bed and sleep. I am hungry, but don’t feel like eating….BLAH. Sylvia also has times where she is very tired before he period comes. I guess it is just part of being a woman, but man I am ready for this to be DONE…..but that may be a few years. I just wanted to vent a little and see if anyone had any advice…so??

What kind of Lesbian are You?

So someone posted a link to a questionnaire on “What kind of lesbian are you?” Here is the link http://www.playbuzz.com/ericap10/what-kind-of-lesbian-are-you You will probably have to copy and paste it. Here is what I got!

You are The Sporty Dyke! You’re the girl that, if you’re wearing yoga pants, you’re ACTUALLY doing yoga. But yoga isn’t hardcore enough for you. You carry a spare softball in your backpack in case of emergency. You have tons of male friends that see you as just “one of the guys”. You’re known to turn anything into a competition, especially when it comes to dating. Your hair hasn’t been outside of a hair tie in months. While you may be a tomboy, you don’t really consider yourself butch. Why wear makeup? You’ll just sweat it off! So crack open a brewski and watch the game.

I don’t drink beer though and I don’t hang out with a lot of guys, but I am comfortable being around the guys and watching sports. I do love softball but don’t play anymore. I do consider myself a tomboy, but not a true butch.

So answer the questions and see what you get!

Jack is HERE!

Jack actually got home before I arrived home from work. I wasn’t expecting him to leave from college until 4:00 and be home around 6:00. Well he talked to his afternoon professor and since he is ahead in the class, the professor told him he didn’t have to stay. He left at 2:15 and was home by 4:15!! This was his first trip home since he started school and his first time to drive home ALONE.

Jack actually texted me yesterday morning and said “Thank you for having me pack the nebulizer. I needed it last night!” Of course, then I had to find out what was going on and why he needed it. He said his allergies were really acting up and his inhaler just wasn’t helping like it should. I called the pulmonologist and got them to call in some albuterol nebulizer meds and new nebulizer kits (this is the stuff you put the medicine in to make the mist). I had stopped on the way home to pick up the meds and neb kits, which turned out to be new nebulizers, when I got a text from Jack that he was home!!!

I arrived home and got a BIG hug! He said the cats were excited to see him and they were really happy to be back in his room. Ethan had gotten up this morning asking if Jack were coming home, so I think he had really been missing Jack. Jack even said he texted Ethan to tell him that “big brother is coming home today.” OH HOW SWEET is that! Jack’s girlfriend finally arrived and they were happy to see each other. She stayed for a few hours and then left for home. Sylvia got home a bit later, and Jack went looking for her to give her a BIG hug. He then talked with her for a bit.

I talked to Jack later about his allergies and how he was feeling. He did a breathing treatment tonight and will do three a day until he goes back on Sunday. I want him to continue them until the cough is gone. I even had Ethan do a treatment, because he has had a little cough too.

Jack has to clean up under his bed and get his laundry done tomorrow. His girlfriend will come over tomorrow evening and they will watch Ethan, while Sylvia and I go out to eat and to a dance. We will then hang out on Sunday and then he will go back to college. I am glad he made it home alone and am very glad he is liking college!