There is something in the air and it is affecting all of us, except for Sylvia. The boys and I have been sneezing all week. My eyes are driving me even more crazy then the sneezing. Ethan has had a cough so he has been doing breathing treatments three times a week since Monday. I was finally able to get him into the doctor today and he is now on antibiotics and a steroid. I am feeling pretty good and don’t feel sick, thank goodness. Poor Ethan has asthma and so he has a harder time fighting off any infections. I am taking mucinex and allergy medication. Jack will sneeze and sneeze and then will say that he doesn’t need any allergy medication. Drives me nuts. Sylvia seems to be immune from most of the allergens in our area. She will sneeze some here and there, but allergy medication seems to help her more than the rest of us. I am ready for the HEAT to kick in and kill off everything! Jack and I both have a bit of poison ivy too from the yard work this past weekend. YIKES! He has it worse than me. Even with long sleeves, long pants and gloves, we both got hit with it! I think we will all survive. Two more weeks of school and SUMMER will be here!
I turned 50 yesterday and Sylvia gave me a wonderful party! The day started out with me waking up to her saying “Happy Birthday”. She gave me my birthday presents right then! She got me some things for my cell phone, lavender bubble bath and a ceramic antique kitten! I to love cats. We had planned my party together, but there were some things I had not been told. We had the party at a Mexican food restaurant. There were a total of 20 people who came which included Jack, Ethan, my mom and Jack’s girlfriend. The rest of the guests were friends and couples that we hang out with at the women’s dance or other events. It was so much fun. Sylvia had made party favors for the guests and tied to them was a round tag that said, “Thank you for coming to Maria’s 50th birthday party”. It was really neat. They were tied to a small jar that held candy! She also had a poster board that was titled “50 Things we like about Maria….” There was strong across the board and each person wrote something down that they liked about me! I read them to everyone after we ate. After dinner we ate some birthday cake and visited more. I made sure to go to each end of the table and see all of our friends. It was one of my best birthdays. The boys wrote nice things about me as did Jack’s girlfriend. My mother got to meet all of our friends and she enjoyed talking to each of them. Many of our friends write nice things about my mom on Facebook after the party. Our friends had heard many stories about Jack and Ethan, but had not met them. It was neat to see them get to meet them both and for the boys to meet our friends that we talk about. It was just a nice afternoon with friends and family! I am blessed to have Sylvia, Jack, Ethan, my mom and all of my friends!
It is has been a month since my gall bladder surgery. It took three weeks to finally start feeling like my old self, so this past week has been a good one. I saw my surgeon two weeks ago and asked about the pain I have been having on my right side. He said that my brain is still trying to send signals to my gall bladder, that is no longer there. I was glad to hear that this was all that was going on and it wasn’t something more serious. I have not had any pain for a week now and that is one reason I am feeling so much better. My first week back at work was hard. I would come home and take a nap before I even ate dinner and THEN still go to bed early. Sylvia has been awesome. She waited on me and worried when I had even just a small pain. The medical bills are starting to come in, but I met my deductible back in November, so they are not TOO bad. I did file a complaint with one of the hospitals and am waiting to see what they have to say. I also sent a letter of dispute to the two doctors that treated me at that one hospital. I am curious to see what comes out of all of that and I will keep you posted.
I am on spring break this week, but Ethan is in school. He had spring break last week. I am taking him to three doctor’s appointments this week and Jack is having his wisdom teeth pulled. Sylvia and I are going to work on our taxes (I am sure that will end up being a blog post). I hope we survive doing our taxes! I am going to spend the day with my mom on one day. I may treat myself to a movie, but otherwise, I will just be home and going to appointments with the kids!
We are on the count down to summer!!!
It only took FOUR ER visits this week and one ambulance ride, but we found out it was my gall bladder that was causing my pain. Sylvia took me to the ER early on Monday morning (1:00 am) and was told I had kidney stones. WE came home and I took the day off. I set up a urology appointment and went to work on Tuesday. I was doing OK on Wednesday, but then started feeling bad around 3:00 pm. Sylvia took me to a different ER on Tuesday night. After two hours and a CT scan I was told it wasn’t kidney stones and to go home. My stepmom took me back to the same hospital around 4 AM and was told the same thing and was asked if I was a narcotic user. My stepmom chewed them out, they gave me pain meds and sent me home. Sylvia took me to my primary care doctor who thought it might be a gynecological issue or a gastro issue. We visited a urologist who confirmed it was not kidney stones and agreed with my primary care doctor. I got an appointment with my gynecologist and tried to tolerate the pain. Well Thursday night it was too much. My stepmom advised I call an ambulance and so we did. I arrived there and long story short, they ended up admitting me, doing more tests and figured out that my gall bladder LOOKED fine but was actually working at only 10%, This took all day to figure out and by 5:00 pm they were prepping me for surgery.
My mom came in to help Sylvia. Sylvia was exhausted from the ER trips and work. I got home yesterday and have been taking it easy. I’ll be out at least the next three days from work. The boys have been good and Sylvia has been awesome. I’ll be calling the second hospital tomorrow to file a complaint and work on making sure they know how much they messed up. It is a LONG story but the nurse was an ass and they did not take care of me.
I still have not talked to my father since he upset my sister with his phone call about our mother being a liar. I reached out to him a few weeks ago in a text and went on this tirade about her again and that he can’t believe I am willing to alienate him over this. My much younger sister, who is really my half sister, decided she would message me today and tell me that I should mend things with our father. I asked her to stay out of it, which of course she didn’t and called both my father and me immature. Well, let’s just say I gave her an earful about how I have been hurt by him. She is young, there is at least a 25 year age difference, and so I know she doesn’t understand. This is not easy for me. I just can’t let myself be hurt again. I suggested she have him write me a letter and that he needs to admit he didn’t pay child support. This has festered for a long time. He has said stupid things and I have kept my mouth shut to keep the peace. I am tired of being the one to keep peace. I am getting to old to have to keep up a charade and not be me. I am not saying I will never speak to him again, but for now I just won’t. I can’t.
I just wanted to say “Merry Christmas” to everyone! Sylvia celebrates her Christmas on December 24th, so we will have dinner with her tomorrow night. My mom will stop by and we will exchange presents. She will drive to my sister’s house who lives a few hours away and stay with her for Christmas. Jack has to work, but he will come in and eat later. We will open a few presents and have some desserts! We will then celebrate Christmas with my brother and his family here at our house. Jack doesn’t have to work so we will all be here. We would usually go to my dad’s house later in the evening on Christmas Day, but not this year. We are still not speaking. I am not happy about the situation, but a great weight has been lifted off of me knowing that I don’t have to go over there and not be my true self.
I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas. Be safe out there!
My father finally reached out to my sister and apologized for how he acted. He called my number, and surprisingly the call came through even though I had blocked him (Jack and I are on the cloud with our phone numbers, so he had my dad saved as grandpa, so I think that is why it came through). I didn’t answer, but he left a message. He asked me to call him. I waited 24 hours and then texted him that I would call, but not right away. This has really been weighing on me the last few days. I have never truly felt that he has accepted me and Sylvia and our marriage.
I decided to text him instead of calling. I told him that I even before this thing with my sister, that I had not felt comfortable in his home. I told him that I could not be me when I was around him. I did bring in “the man” that is now our president elect and how he has spoken about handicap people (my son is handicapped) and how he has talked about women. I only brought him up to say BEFORE the election it was hard to be around him, but since the election I truly didn’t feel that I could be at his home where ALL of my family supported THIS MAN. I tried to make this about ME and HOW I feel. I also said that my wife didn’t like being at his home and that is why she rarely accompanied me to his house.
He responded after a while and said we should agree to disagree on the election results. He brought up HILLARY and that she supports abortion in the 9th month and that she support aborting handicapped babies. He said some other stuff and said that he has always accepted both Sylvia and I in his home. Long story short, I brought up some things he has said around us both and he denied saying them, basically calling Sylvia a liar. When I called him on it, not saying WHEN he said it, he replied with “that was 2 years ago, get over it”, so he does remember saying it. He also brought up the reason he called my sister and accused my mother of lying again.
I kept trying to address that I don’t feel accepted, and he just said he accepted me. However, what he says and what he does shows me otherwise. He then said he was DONE in a text. Now before you start to criticize about having this conversation through text, realize, that I have tried to have phone conversations on other issues with him in the past and they have not gone well. He wants me to just FORGET what has happened and what has been said and just act like nothing has happened. I have done that for several years, when he has ranted about how gays will NEVER be allowed to marry, when he has ranted about abortion, when he has wondered how my ex-husband can survive after paying child support, when he says he accepts me, but not the “lifestyle”. What the hell is the lesbian lifestyle. My two boys have done so much better with Sylvia being here.
This is a bit of a rambling post, but I have found my voice and I will not be quiet. I will not sit and be quiet when people support laws that limit my freedom, that limit my special needs son’s life….I will not be a victim anymore.
It is that time of year again and the baking has already begun!! Sylvia and I both like to bake our special treats for Christmas. She has students and co-workers that she gives these baked goods to and I have staff and friends I like to share with. I even make up around 30 gift bags to send with Ethan full of these Christmas treats. My all time favorite baked good is the Snowball cookies that I make each year. Some of Sylvia’s co-workers asked her if she would be bringing those white cookies (snowball cookies) and chocolate truffles again this year. It makes me happy to know people enjoy what I make. Sylvia found the truffle recipe two years ago and we made them again last year. We plan on making them again this year. Both boys enjoy coming in to help with the truffle making and they are so easy to make. Sylvia makes up the chocolate and then refrigerates it. She and I roll the truffles and the boys decorate them in the various sprinkles we purchased. We count the truffles as we go and on the 11th truffle one person gets to do a quality control test and taste the truffle. We then restart the counting and the next person gets to have a taste on the 11th truffle. We make about 100 truffles each time and enjoy sitting around and chatting!
Sylvia has a chocolate walnut recipe type of candy she makes, but we don’t have an official name for it. We call them the “walnut things”, but they are good. I also make homemade pralines! My great-grandmother taught my mother how to make pralines and I have been making them for the past four years. I don’t usually send those in the treat bags, because not everyone likes them. However, I do make them for friends and family as Christmas gifts. Two years ago someone asked if they could pay me to make the pralines for them and I did. She gave them as a gift and said her friend loved them. My niece and nephew come over every year and we make homemade sugar cookies with Ethan. If Jack is home, he will stop and help us decorate the cookies. We use store bought icing and then use food coloring to make different colors. I also have tubes of icing we can use to decorate the cookies as well as sprinkles. This year I have decorative eyeballs to use! The kids enjoy it and so do I! We make lots of good memories. I have been making these cookies since Jack was around two years old. Back then my little sister and brother would come over (they were 10 and 6) to make and decorate cookies!
I enjoy giving these items as presents! I think homemade gifts are sometimes the best, especially when you can eat them!
I haven’t watched the national news since the night of the election. I just can’t bring myself to do it. It has been over two weeks since that orange man won and I still can’t believe it. I worry for the LGBT community. I worry for people with disabilities, people in poverty, people depending on SSI and for the elderly depending on social security. I don’t know what is wrong with this country and the people who think they are better than everyone else or think they can look down on people. I am tired. I am just plain tired. I think about my dad everyday, but I can’t bring myself to call him or even reach out to him. I have thought about writing him a letter, but I still don’t think he will understand. He sees me as a second class citizen because I am gay. He doesn’t think I am entitled to the benefits of living in America…the right to marry being the one that bothers me the most. I hope I can watch the news again and just fast forward through the depressing stuff. I hope I can want to stay informed so that orange man doesn’t ruin things. I just don’t want to be tired anymore. At least I am not crying anymore.
I am tired of not feeling well. I woke up yesterday morning with severe cramps, AGAIN. I had made it through the week with some minor cramping, but this was horrible. I spent most of the day in bed yesterday with a heating pad and taking ibuprofin. The tylenol with codeine that I took didn’t seem to help a bit. I did manage to sleep and woke up with no cramps this morning, but then they came back. By 11:30 am I was in awful pain. Sylvia had left for a few hours to work. I called the gynecologist and spoke to the doctor on call. She told me to take two of the tyelnol with codeine with 3 ibuprofin. I did that and it did help. I took more tylenol with codeine 4 hours later and then more ibuprofin 2 hours after that. I still have the cramps, but they are NOT bad at all. Of course, if I back off the meds, then they will come full force.
I will be calling the doctor when the office opens and making damn sure I get in there tomorrow. I just can’t keep doing this. I would just rather have her schedule surgery and take it all, if that is the true issue. Of course, the sonogram showed nothing and we are still waiting on the blood work results. The blood work at the ER showed no infection so that shouldn’t be the issue. I almost went to the ER today, but I don’t think they will do anything more than what they did before.
Sylvia doesn’t know what to do and worries so much. I really just want some answers and some ideas on what to do about this. UGH is all I have to say.