My father finally reached out to my sister and apologized for how he acted. He called my number, and surprisingly the call came through even though I had blocked him (Jack and I are on the cloud with our phone numbers, so he had my dad saved as grandpa, so I think that is why it came through). I didn’t answer, but he left a message. He asked me to call him. I waited 24 hours and then texted him that I would call, but not right away. This has really been weighing on me the last few days. I have never truly felt that he has accepted me and Sylvia and our marriage.

I decided to text him instead of calling. I told him that I even before this thing with my sister, that I had not felt comfortable in his home. I told him that I could not be me when I was around him. I did bring in “the man” that is now our president elect and how he has spoken about handicap people (my son is handicapped) and how he has talked about women. I only brought him up to say BEFORE the election it was hard to be around him, but since the election I truly didn’t feel that I could be at his home where ALL of my family supported THIS MAN. I tried to make this about ME and HOW I feel. I also said that my wife didn’t like being at his home and that is why she rarely accompanied me to his house.

He responded after a while and said we should agree to disagree on the election results. He brought up HILLARY and that she supports abortion in the 9th month and that she support aborting handicapped babies. He said some other stuff and said that he has always accepted both Sylvia and I in his home. Long story short, I brought up some things he has said around us both and he denied saying them, basically calling Sylvia a liar. When I called him on it, not saying WHEN he said it, he replied with “that was 2 years ago, get over it”, so he does remember saying it. He also brought up the reason he called my sister and accused my mother of lying again.

I kept trying to address that I don’t feel accepted, and he just said he accepted me. However, what he says and what he does shows me otherwise. He then said he was DONE in a text. Now before you start to criticize about having this conversation through text, realize, that I have tried to have phone conversations on other issues with him in the past and they have not gone well. He wants me to just FORGET what has happened and what has been said and just act like nothing has happened. I have done that for several years, when he has ranted about how gays will NEVER be allowed to marry, when he has ranted about abortion, when he has wondered how my ex-husband can survive after paying child support, when he says he accepts me, but not the “lifestyle”. What the hell is the lesbian lifestyle. My two boys have done so much better with Sylvia being here.

This is a bit of a rambling post, but I have found my voice and I will not be quiet. I will not sit and be quiet when people support laws that limit my freedom, that limit my special needs son’s life….I will not be a victim anymore.

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