Many years ago when my then husband left me and wanted a divorce, he stated that he would pay the child support and not to worry. Unfortunately, he lost his job about six months later and it took him over two years to find a steady job. He would find a job, and either it didn’t pay well or he didn’t keep it long. Some of it wasn’t his fault, as the economy wasn’t good at the time, and some of it was his fault. Needless to say, the amount of money he owed me added up quickly and the child support agency was keeping track. He finally got on his feet and I started receiving steady support, however he was also behind in his back medical. Medical expenses for Jack and Ethan add up quickly. Jack was taking five medications a day (that includes 2 inhalers) and Ethan was taking nine different medications (two inhalers) and some of these medications were more than once a day. Ethan also sees four specialist several times a year. Let’s just say that the medical bills added up quickly. I sent copies of the bills and the letters I had sent my ex-husband and we went to mediation to discuss what he owed me. A payment plan was set up, but it was minimal, and he was told to START paying current medical. He never did start paying current medical (this was 2011) and so I kept sending it in to the child support agency.

Fast forward to now and he owes me over $20,000 in back support and medical. He just recently changed jobs and the child support agency increased his child support by almost $800 a month. He called me to ask why and I told him I had no idea. I called and inquired to see if he had contacted them about his new job, which I knew he had done, but I wanted to start a conversation. The woman told me that they had indeed increased his support because he owed me so much and that interest was being added at about $100 a month. She said he could call and try to get it lowered, but there was no guarantee. Well, the last two child support payments I have received have been at this new amount. I have paid off one credit card (I was already paying more on it because of previous child support) and am now paying more on a loan I took off back when he lost his job and I wasn’t receiving support. Part of me feels bad that his support was just increased, but then he owes me. I have bills I am still paying because I wasn’t receiving support. Jack is in college and racking up debt to pay for it, so I am putting some extra money in his savings account and using some of the child support to pay his car insurance and other things he needs.

I guess I just want to tell my ex-husband that karma is a bitch. Overall he is a nice guy, but there were times when he told me Ethan didn’t need all of his medications or to see specialists, because he didn’t want to pay support. He has no idea what it is like to tell your kids you can’t afford a new pair of shoes for them. For all the times he was off just living his life and didn’t have to worry about the kids. Now he wants me to feel bad for him that “life” has caught up with him. Sylvia reminds me of the hard times and how there were months when I didn’t get support. This keeps me grounded to taking care of ME and taking care of the boys. Like I said, Karma is a bitch.

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2 thoughts on “Karma!

  1. My wife didn’t get child support for our son for YEARS. He is now 20, so they have stopped adding to it, but her ex owes about $48,000 in back child support. He has been put in jail for it before and lost his license, but he still never paid (except as a condition to get out of jail once). Men don’t realize how expensive it is to raise their children without their help. It really burns my bread to think that he got to live his life basically scot-free, and I had to (willingly, mind you) pick up the slack for him! I would do it all again in a heartbeat, because our son deserves it, but he should have helped out. He helped make the kid, and that was it!

    1. I have been fairly lucky in that my ex-husband has at least paid when he has had a job. I have indefinite support because Ethan has a disability. I agree with you that they need to pay. Sylvia has been awesome but it shouldn’t fall on her. It took a lot of paperwork to get the back child support taken care of.

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