One area that Sylvia continue to work on is communication. We were out walking yesterday and I started talking about work. One block around and I was frustrated with her and she was frustrated with me. I was almost in tears. I can’t even remember what all we talked about that caused the upset. I arrived home before she did and thought mulled it all over. When she came in she went straight to our room. I walked back and said, “I think part of our communication issue is the baggage I bring with me into this relationship. When you talk to me all I hear is ‘you are wrong, you don’t know what you are talking about’ even if that is not what you mean.” Communication is a two way street and it is up to both parties to make sure that there are no breakdowns.
We went back and forth a few times, still not seeing eye to eye and I reminded her of what I said when I first came in. I wanted her to understand that I was taking ownership for how I perceive what she says. She then spoke for a bit and we finally figured out where the breakdown was. She didn’t understand part of our conversation, but thought she did. I know that I speak quickly and sometimes don’t CONNECT my ideas, but I can’t see it when we are in the middle of the conversation. I then asked Sylvia to stop me when she doesn’t understand and ask for clarification. Overall, even though we got upset, we didn’t really argue. We got it all worked out with very few tears. I highly regard Sylvia’s opinion so when I think she is criticizing me I take it too much to heart. We hugged and apologized. We agreed that communication is something we still need to work on, but I think we have improved a great deal!