I was recently told that I make my choice to come out seem like I made a choice to become a lesbian. No, I don’t think it was a choice. I think I finally realized WHO I really was and came to terms with it.

Growing up in the 1970s and 1980s, I never saw homosexuality on TV or in movies. It wasn’t discussed in society and I didn’t even know it existed until my college years. I was raised in a Catholic family and was taught that a woman and man got married and had children. I did that and tried to be happy. However, I grew unhappy in the last few years. I just never felt like things were “right”. My husband decided to become my ex-husband and I was free to date for the first time in 17 years. I corresponded with me, but found that was looking more and more at the idea of dating a woman. I made the choice to follow my true feelings instead of ignoring them and living a lie.

This was never really a choice of being a lesbian, but more of recognizing these feelings and accepting who I was.  I am not “butch” and I am not “femme”, but somewhere in the middle. It is almost like the heterosexuals who wonder who the “man” is in the relationship between two women. There is no “man”, there are just two women who love each other. I hope that I don’t run into lesbians who judge me.  We should just all accept others for who they are. That makes life a lot easier!

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Choices!

  1. I love that you are sharing your experiences here. I am in a similar boat at 44 years old; however still married. It’s reassuring to hear of life “on the other side”. Good for you for finding the authentic you!

  2. Thank you. I have been readying your blog as well. My husband leaving me was the best thing that ever happened, although I didn’t know it at the time. I hope you can find who you are and have the life you want.

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