Neither Sylvia or I are into public displays of affection(PDA). We are shy and choose not to do more than maybe a peck on the lips and holding hands. We might rub the others back, but seriously THAT IS IT.

So, why am I writing about this. Well, it is because of my MOTHER. She is in town for a few days and I guess the last time she was here when Sylvia and I ate dinner with her we showed too much PDA. Meaning, I held Sylvia’s hand and rubbed her back and not a back rub, just a  flat hand caressing her back OVER her shirt.

My mom came by on Thursday and brought dinner. Sylvia was working and came in later. My mom staid about an hour after Sylvia got home and they got to know each other a bit. They even agreed that I wasn’t the best housekeeper(thanks a lot right, but I agree I am not!).

So, today my mom took Ethan off for a bit and then brought him home. We are going to meet her later to eat dinner along with my brother and his family.  My mom stayed for about fifteen minutes after she brought Ethan home. Sylvia was out running an errand. My mom and I discussed dinner plans and what time we wanted to all meet. She then says, “Now don’t get defensive, but could you not show much affection to Sylvia when we are out…..I would say that to ANY couple. I just don’t like public displays of affection.” Oh, I was miffed and I had to hold back what I really wanted to say. I told her I would try, but what was HER definition of PDA, meaning I didn’t think that the PDA I show Sylvia in public is MUCH. She said the rubbing the back, holding hands and such. I told her I would try.

Sylvia came home and my mom left after a few more minutes. I then proceeded to tell Sylvia the story. Even, when my mom came over the other night and Sylvia came in, I didn’t give her a HUGE kiss….just a peck and out of the sight of my mom. I even asked Sylvia if we had done much touching/caressing on Thursday when my mom was here and if we did it was holding hands and maybe rubbing an arm. All just small signs of affection. Now if we were making out in front of her….well, then I would understand.

Needless to say the more I thought about it the more pissed I was. I shouldn’t have to sit with my girlfriend and watch every move I make afraid that I’ll offend my mother or anyone else for that matter. Her statement that she would feel that way about ANY couple makes it even worse. It is like prefacing a statement with, “I am not a racist, BUT…..” and then saying something racist.

I guess if it is just too much for her, then we just won’t go out to eat with her again. My mom and I have always been close. My parents divorced when I was 18 and I became like a second mom to my younger siblings. I have been there when she has had surgeries and she has been there for me through all of my times of stress. Now I just feel that there is this chasm between us. I thought things were better, but I guess they are just a little better. She sees I am happy. She sees that the boys like Sylvia. Why can’t she just get over it and realize that the PDAs that Sylvia and I display are NOT inappropriate.

Sorry for the vent, but I just had to get this off my chest. I’ll let y’all know how the dinner goes.


5 thoughts on “Public Displays of Affection(PDA)!!

  1. Please don’t be upset with your mom. Obviously she has some “unknown” reasons for feeling that you are too affectionate in public. She may not even understand herself what her problem is. So, I will go to my universal advice which is appropriate nine times out of ten in these types of situations – and that is to sit down with her and talk it out. One of two positive things can result; 1) you discuss enough that she begins to understand herself better and may back off a bit, or she may understand you better; or 2) you will understand her issues better and let them be okay with you, in a respectful, but “I don’t agree with them” sort of way. Please don’t let it just fester – I don’t know about you but I can put up with someone better if I understand the nature of their issues. Good luck!

    1. I see what you are saying and I will try to talk to her about it. We will end up argueing though, because one of us will get defensive. I agree on not letting it fester, but I assure you, Sylvia and I are very discreet in public and do not have PDA that is inappropriate.

  2. It takes two people to argue. Make up your mind going in that that won’t happen and if it deteriorates to that then you can back off. This is a chance for you to prove to your mother that you are mature about how to handle this and if she doesn’t discuss it with you adult-to-adult in order to understand then at least you tried. This is a growth thing for you and it sounds like something like this needs to happen between you and your mother in order for her to get the message that you are your own man.

  3. Sorry – I meant wo-man! PS, she is probably embarrassed for herself because she has a different take on sexuality then you do, but hasn’t learned to respect the differences.

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