For the most part, everyone in my family has been supportive of my decision to switch teams. I have discussed this before in the blog. They have asked the questions….When did you know? How did you know? and such. However, my mother and I just can’t seem to connect. She has had the hardest time with this I think.
My ex husband took the news better than my mom did. He has never questioned my decision and said as long as the boys are doing well, then that is all that matters. He knows I need to live my life and be happy so that I can be a better parent. He never questioned me on it.
Others have wondered how it would affect my oldest son who is a teen. From this point on I’ll refer to him as Jack. Now Jack likes Sylvia. He laughs at her jokes and pays her as much as attention as he does me when he eats dinner with us or anything else we do. Some in my family have said, “What about Jack? How is Jack handling this?” He is handling it fine. In fact, I think he is glad that I am busy doing my own thing and letting him be in his room. Now I am not neglecting him at all, but now I have a friend to hang with and he doesn’t have to be my “friend” he can be my son and have his own friends. Now by friend, I mean talk to me at dinner or go to the movies with me …..he doesn’t want to be out with his MOM….it is so embarrassing.
For the sake of the blog, my younger son is named Ethan! Now Ethan is a very needy child in some ways. He is a special needs child who has required a great deal of my attention since birth. He has anxiety about me disappearing, I think because his dad left in the divorce and he doesn’t see his dad much. I understand that, but I should be able to have a life. I told Ethan’s teacher about Sylvia this week and she said, “You go girl! You deserve a life. Ethan needs to learn that your life doesn’t revolve around him!” So she gets it. Part of Ethan’s issues are related to behavior and lets just say he can be handful at times.
So today my mom called to check in about the weather. We got several inches of snow and she did too. I was telling her that Ethan was in his room and would be staying there for most of the morning. He has gotten into a bad habit of back talking and muttering things under his breath. On the way to his room, he hit the wall knocking a picture off the wall and the cover to the thermostat. My mom then asks if I talk to him after he misbehaves and my response was YES. She then said, “well you know he doesn’t adjust well to change and there have been so many changes(meaning Sylvia)” and I said YES, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior. He is going to have to get used to me dating a woman. She then said, “well you now how I feel about this. we have discussed it before.” My reply was YES and you know how I feel. Sylvia was sitting at the table as I was talking to her. Now my mom have had this discussion several times and it has affected our relationship. I thought things were getting better and here we go again.
Ethan was much worse before I even met Sylvia. It has taken almost two years to get his behavior under control and this was all before Sylvia came along. If anything she balances my life and calms me so that I can deal with Ethan better when he is having a bad day.
My mom is the only one who is acting like this. I am to a point where I just don’t want to even share anything with her about Ethan anymore. My life has changed and my mom has got to get used to it or it will affect our relationship in a negative way. She seems to be the only one with a major problem with this.