Sylvia and I were doing well! We saw each other a few times a week and spoke everyday by text and on the phone. She was becoming a big part of my life and I was enjoying her company more and more! She would come and spend the night, leaving early on school mornings before the boys got up.
The next week I was driving for my job and had been texting Sylvia quite a bit. It started to rain and I was driving in some really bad weather and couldn’t text her. The next time I look at my phone, I see that she thinks I am ignoring her and that my short answers to her texts were a concern. She thought I was mad with her. As soon as I got to my destination, I picked up my cell phone to call her. She answered and I said in a very nice and understanding way, “Don’t always assume the worst sweetie, I was driving in some really bad rain.” I was about 60 miles north-east of where she was and there it was not even raining where I was. I didn’t have a lot of time because I was trying to get to a meeting. She thanked me for calling her and reassuring her that everything was OK. I told her I would call her after my meeting. When I called, we talked for a bit and decided that if I was in traffic or in bad weather, I would send a one word text, like “rain” or “traffic” so she would know that I was just unable to text. We were so new to our relationship and learning to trust each other and I was fine with this arrangement! She told me how good it made her feel that I called her and reassured her that everything was fine and that I didn’t get upset with her for misunderstanding her interpretation of what had happened with our texts.
Thanksgiving was approaching and I asked my mom if she could come with me to her house. She lives about 2 1/2 hours away so we would be spending the night. I offered to us to stay in a hotel. Well, that didn’t go well. She had told me she was fine with my change in lifestyle, but now was upset about me wanting to bring Sylvia with me. I relented and decided not to fight this battle. Sylvia supported me on this and said we would have next Thanksgiving and a year for people to get used to this switch in teams. One thing my mom said was…”You have only known her for a few weeks, do you think you will still be together at Thanksgiving?” This really hurt me. She had no idea how emotionally attached I was to Sylvia and how I was beginning to realize that my life had been a bit of a lie. It wasn’t like I just decided to switch teams, this feeling(looking back now) was always there, I was just never brave enough to act on it!
I called my uncle, who is gay and came out late in life, and we spoke for a long time. He has been a good person for me to talk to. He told me to give my mom time, that she would come around. She loved me, but that IT IS hard for others to understand this change. He also said, that “straight people” just don’t get it when those of us late in life make this change….that we finally find out true selves and how nice it is to be who we are and be free to be who we are. How freeing it is. I also spoke to my sister who is recently divorced and dating a man. My mom was acting about the same with her and her new boyfriend. This made it easier for me to realize it wasn’t that I was dating a woman that freaked out my mom, it was that I was dating!
I survived my three days at my moms, but Sylvia and I spoke daily, in fact several times a day. I drove home on Friday afternoon and she came out that evening! We were looking forward to spending Christmas together.