I have decided to backtrack a little and write about telling my family about “switching teams”. I had told my sister-in-law(SIL) several months before I decided to make the change, that I was considering it. Once I did start talking to Sylvia online, I told my SIL about her. She took it fine, and I asked her to keep it from my brother for a bit.
A few days before I met Sylvia in person, I called my mother and told her that I was dating someone. I told her that this person was a woman. She was a bit shocked, but I thought she took it well. She said she just wanted me to be happy.
On the day I met Sylvia, my brother and his (SIL) came over with their kids. I mentioned that I had gone off to see someone and my SIL guessed that I had gone off to meet the woman I had been talking too. My brother asked if I had been on a date and my SIL said, “tell him, he’ll be fine with it.” I told him and he did take it well. He wasn’t too happy about his wife keeping it from him, but he realized that it was for me and not just because she didn’t want to tell him.
I later told my stepmom and she told my dad, only because my dad was concerned about me. I was sort of glad she had told him. I told my sister over the phone and she was fine with it.
I have also told a few friends, who have been very supportive. I have not shared this with anyone at work and for now won’t.
My brother and his wife met Sylvia on Christmas day. We had a nice dinner with them and all of the kids. We hung out for the afternoon. Later I took the kids to see my dad’s family. I asked Sylvia if she would like to go, but she declined. I didn’t mind, I knew there would be at least ten family members there and she was like me and didn’t like big groups. She could meet them on another day.
Just today I told my ex husband about Sylvia. I accidentally texted him, “missing you,” and then texted, “oh wrong person, sorry”. He guessed I was seeing someone and called me later about seeing the boys. He asked about the text and we talked. I told him I would rather tell him in person. He asked if I was planning on getting married, was I dating someone outside of my race and finally said, “is it a woman?” When I said yes, he said, well I am happy for you. He has someone in his life and is happy that I have someone in my life. Now this was quite a surprise. I was afraid he might try to get custody of the kids or take it personally that I had “switched teams.”
Overall, my coming out has gone better than I thought it would.