Before I discuss my journey, I wanted to look back again. As I said, I have always been a tomboy at heart. I would live in jeans and sneakers(shorts in the summer) if I could everyday. I never had very many friends and never really “fit” in. I went to a private school for many years and then moved to a public school. We then moved to another state and making friends was even harder. At least in my hometown I had grown up with many of my friends.
I was always a quirky kid. I was a picky eater and didn’t like change much. Looking back, I now know I suffered from OCD…and still do! I had one really good friend in high school and we even were roommates in college for a year. Several people thought we were “together” or “girlfriends” to which we both denied. Looking back I can see why people thought that we were a couple. Again, this was the mid 1980s and homosexuality was not discussed. At least, I never heard it discussed! It just wasn’t a choice for me.
I later went to another university and graduated! I had friends and a few of them were gay. It never bothered me and I was quite accepting of that lifestyle.
I never really have felt like I fit in….in high school, college, or at my job. I always felt like I was making myself fit in…faking it. I was happy though and not everything was faking it. I got married and the birth of my children has been the most magnificent thing in my life. I would not give them up at all. However, looking back now I wonder how different my life could have been if I had chosen the path of dating women over men when I was younger. I could have still had a family, it would have just looked different. Of course, looking back can lead to regret, and so I am chosing to look forward. Now that I have decided to date women, my life has become so much better and it has been an interesting journey.